Crippen comes out … as a republican.

With a bill well into the £100,000,000 and still climbing, this coronation looks like becoming the costliest state occasion ever.

What with food banks appearing in almost every town in the UK, more people in debt than ever before and the NHS crumbling around us, we’ve never had it so bad. Well, certainly those of us not in positions of power and influence who, we hear, are all busy feathering their own nests at our expense.

When I talk to people about the whole royalist debacle, the one thing that seems to be really getting up people’s noses is that Charlie is making his former mistress his Queen. Not Queen consort, as we’d been informed before, but the actual bloody Queen of England. The former ones must be rotating in their graves!

You would have thought that his advisors would have had a quite word in his ear and said something along the lines of: “It seems that the common folk are a little pissed off, what with all the financial hardships they’re all facing. And then they hear that you’re blowing over a hundred million pounds on this bun fight … and let’s not forget what you’re doing with Camilla!” But perhaps they do, and perhaps he doesn’t listen. Who knows?

So, will I be watching these privileged parasites glorifying their hold over the common people … Well, what do you think?!

(Ed: We understand that Crippen may be writing his next blog from a draughty little cell in the Tower of London … let’s hope it’s wheelchair accessible!)

Description of cartoon for those using screen reading software

King Charles wearing a smart grey suit and a large crown on his head is standing in the royal kitchens. Along side of him is a palace chef clad in whites with chequered trousers. Behind them is a long table groaning with the weight of food upon it. On the wall is a card with ‘coronation menu’ printed on it. Charles is saying to us: “One has just told him – if he runs out of food then there’s a food bank just down the road!”

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